13 February 2011
Computer User Games
13/02/11 14:11
As a lot of you know, I fix computers for a living. OK what I tell everyone (but my employer) is I'm a writer that is fixing computers until I get my big break. Regardless (1), I get a lot of material from my work with computers, more precisely with the users. I suspect that it doesn't make any difference if it is computers or cars or appliances, people are people and people can be amusing.
First, there are times when you know how the conversation will go from the moment you pick up the phone. I got a call from a user. Their personal computer was dead and could I take a look at it. At this point I always ask the same three questions and the thing is, I generally know the answers even before I ask.
"What does the screen look like?"
"It's completely black."
This tells me that the computer is probably really quite sincerely dead. I've had some people use the D-Word when they had actually just forgotten their password. (2)
"Was there any critical data on the computer? Stuff you need back."
"Well yes. The only copies of all of the companies promotional photos and all of my business correspondence for the last six years."
Why do my users keep the only copies of critical company documents on a six year old computer in their study next to the fish tank?(3) At least when you've finished with the document take a copy back to the office. This leads me to my third question.
"Do you have any backups?"
"No. I always meant to do those but we never got around to it."
No backups. They never back up their data. Maybe it's just because I've worked in computer support. Maybe it's from my background in Aviation. Maybe it's because I know just how much of a Rube Goldberg mechanism a hard drive actually is. Whatever the reason I always assume that whatever machine I'm working with will fail and when (not if) that happens I will need a Plan B.
Now a lot of IT people would just say "Sorry but you're out of luck" and laugh maniacally, but I offered to take a look at it. A few hours later the drive was back from the dead, at least temporarily, and I had a backup of all the critical data. That's how I get a reputation as a miracle worker.
I did have a user this week that amused me a lot though. She'd just gotten back from vacation (meaning that she'd worked here for at least a year and I believe several). Her password had expired and she couldn't log in. I got a note asking for help. I changed the password and gave her a call. Now it was late in the day so rather than giving her a really secure password I just changed it to something simple and was going to tell her to reset it as soon as she got in, something she should do anyway. I called the front desk and Brittany (why are they always Brittany?) answered the phone.
"Hi this is Doug from IT. I got your message and I've reset your password."
""Oh that's great. What do I do next?" She sounded to be somewhere between twenty and nine years old. I resisted the urge to ask her if she had a Rainbow-Unicorn keychain.
Um," slightly surprised, "Well, I'll give you the password and then you can log in and change it to something better."
"Oh you're so sweet"
"Um, yeah. OK then are you ready for the new password?"
"OK, I'm ready."
"The new password is 1 2 3 4 q w e r"
"Hang on what was that again?"
Just take a look at the keyboard. It's really easy. 1…2…3…4…q…w…e…r"
"Oh that's hard."
"It-it's really not that bad. Just look at the keyboard." (I knew she had a keyboard in front of her. She was working at a computer.)
"I'll never be able to remember that. Can I change it?"
After a bit of a pause "Yeah, that might be a good idea." At this point I figured she'd change the password to Brittany and then call us next week because she had forgotten her password again. "Just log into our WebMail client and one of the options lets you change your password." Even as I was saying it I knew that wasn't going to work.
"I'll get one of the other girls to help me with that."
"Yeah, that wouldn't be a bad idea."
What's most amazing is they trust her with Reservations and taking money.
Some calls have to be handled with tact. Early this week I got a call from one department head who could not log into one of the computers in her unit. I checked into it and found that the login was Computer1 while the person was trying to use Computer 1 (note the space. Spaces are critical). I knew this because the correct ID and password for the machine were taped to the monitor. Resolving that one took a great deal of diplomacy.
Actually I need to bite my tongue a lot of the time. There are some things that I WANT to say but would be inappropriate. For example this week a Trouble Ticket came through with a question about our customer database: "How do we mark deceased clients?" I seriously thought about replying with "A chalk outline on the floor of the unit", but decided not to. They think I'm weird enough as it is.
Thought for the week:
Punctuation is critical. I saw a truck behind a local fast food outlet. On the side was Penguin Meat Supply Company. I couldn't help to wonder if it was Penguin, Meat Supply Company or Penguin Meat, Supply Company. The latter means I might not want to eat there. Of course it's Irregardless as I'm a vegetarian anyway.
Doug & Marsha
Footnotes:
1) Yes it is Regardless not Irregardless. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irregardless
2) It does not however tell me if it's just the monitor being turned off. I've run into that a few times as well.
3) Or washer, or sink, or pool, or lake. I knew a guy who's son tripped and dumped an entire Big-Gulp drink into his laptop. The important message here is computers and liquids don't mix.
PIX: This week I was in an unoccupied unit at Pacific Shores working on the computer network when I got the feeling that I was being watched. I looked around and discovered a tiny little deer staring at me through the patio door. I grabbed my phone (the only thing that had a camera on it, albeit not a great one) and started taking pictures.
As I got closer I kept expecting it to run off.
But it seemed to be completely unafraid.
Finally I was about a foot away with just the glass door between us.
And then it turned and walked away through the shrubbery
First, there are times when you know how the conversation will go from the moment you pick up the phone. I got a call from a user. Their personal computer was dead and could I take a look at it. At this point I always ask the same three questions and the thing is, I generally know the answers even before I ask.
"What does the screen look like?"
"It's completely black."
This tells me that the computer is probably really quite sincerely dead. I've had some people use the D-Word when they had actually just forgotten their password. (2)
"Was there any critical data on the computer? Stuff you need back."
"Well yes. The only copies of all of the companies promotional photos and all of my business correspondence for the last six years."
Why do my users keep the only copies of critical company documents on a six year old computer in their study next to the fish tank?(3) At least when you've finished with the document take a copy back to the office. This leads me to my third question.
"Do you have any backups?"
"No. I always meant to do those but we never got around to it."
No backups. They never back up their data. Maybe it's just because I've worked in computer support. Maybe it's from my background in Aviation. Maybe it's because I know just how much of a Rube Goldberg mechanism a hard drive actually is. Whatever the reason I always assume that whatever machine I'm working with will fail and when (not if) that happens I will need a Plan B.
Now a lot of IT people would just say "Sorry but you're out of luck" and laugh maniacally, but I offered to take a look at it. A few hours later the drive was back from the dead, at least temporarily, and I had a backup of all the critical data. That's how I get a reputation as a miracle worker.
I did have a user this week that amused me a lot though. She'd just gotten back from vacation (meaning that she'd worked here for at least a year and I believe several). Her password had expired and she couldn't log in. I got a note asking for help. I changed the password and gave her a call. Now it was late in the day so rather than giving her a really secure password I just changed it to something simple and was going to tell her to reset it as soon as she got in, something she should do anyway. I called the front desk and Brittany (why are they always Brittany?) answered the phone.
"Hi this is Doug from IT. I got your message and I've reset your password."
""Oh
Um," slightly surprised, "Well, I'll give you the password and then you can log in and change it to something better."
"Oh you're so sweet
"Um, yeah. OK then are you ready for the new password?"
"OK, I'm ready."
"The new password is 1 2 3 4 q w e r"
"Hang on what was that again?"
Just take a look at the keyboard. It's really easy. 1…2…3…4…q…w…e…r"
"Oh that's hard."
"It-it's really not that bad. Just look at the keyboard." (I knew she had a keyboard in front of her. She was working at a computer.)
"I'll never be able to remember that. Can I change it?"
After a bit of a pause "Yeah, that might be a good idea." At this point I figured she'd change the password to Brittany and then call us next week because she had forgotten her password again. "Just log into our WebMail client and one of the options lets you change your password." Even as I was saying it I knew that wasn't going to work.
"I'll get one of the other girls to help me with that."
"Yeah, that wouldn't be a bad idea."
What's most amazing is they trust her with Reservations and taking money.
Some calls have to be handled with tact. Early this week I got a call from one department head who could not log into one of the computers in her unit. I checked into it and found that the login was Computer1 while the person was trying to use Computer 1 (note the space. Spaces are critical). I knew this because the correct ID and password for the machine were taped to the monitor. Resolving that one took a great deal of diplomacy.
Actually I need to bite my tongue a lot of the time. There are some things that I WANT to say but would be inappropriate. For example this week a Trouble Ticket came through with a question about our customer database: "How do we mark deceased clients?" I seriously thought about replying with "A chalk outline on the floor of the unit", but decided not to. They think I'm weird enough as it is.
Thought for the week:
Punctuation is critical. I saw a truck behind a local fast food outlet. On the side was Penguin Meat Supply Company. I couldn't help to wonder if it was Penguin, Meat Supply Company or Penguin Meat, Supply Company. The latter means I might not want to eat there. Of course it's Irregardless as I'm a vegetarian anyway.
Doug & Marsha
Footnotes:
1) Yes it is Regardless not Irregardless. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irregardless
2) It does not however tell me if it's just the monitor being turned off. I've run into that a few times as well.
3) Or washer, or sink, or pool, or lake. I knew a guy who's son tripped and dumped an entire Big-Gulp drink into his laptop. The important message here is computers and liquids don't mix.
PIX: This week I was in an unoccupied unit at Pacific Shores working on the computer network when I got the feeling that I was being watched. I looked around and discovered a tiny little deer staring at me through the patio door. I grabbed my phone (the only thing that had a camera on it, albeit not a great one) and started taking pictures.
As I got closer I kept expecting it to run off.
But it seemed to be completely unafraid.
Finally I was about a foot away with just the glass door between us.
And then it turned and walked away through the shrubbery