This doesn’t happen often but every once in a while I feel the urge to just sit back, and enjoy the show. You see, it’s Bike to Work Week. 

It’s Bike to Work Week…and I'm not. 

I'm not showing up to work all smelly and winded and late. I’m not hacking and wheezing from inhaling diesel fumes for 20 km before breakfast. I haven't been worrying about fixing a flat, if I get a flat I call someone. I don't worry about which direction the wind is blowing, even a Prius can handle most any wind. I don't really care if it rains during the day, I have a roof. In a related vein I don't wear a muddy stripe from the rear tire up my back, and I don't need to carry a change of clothing. At the end of the day I don’t grumble to all that can hear, about how hot it is. I get in my car with the AC on and the radio playing and drive comfortably home in half the time it would take me to bike, a quarter if you count recovery time. In short I am a modern man who appreciates the advantages our technological society has to offer. But let me make it clear I did do my part for Bike to Work Week. I didn’t hit any of the sweaty nutballs on the road.

For some reason though, the riders didn't seem to understand this point of view. They tried to act superior for biking in rather than, say staying dry and safe like civilized people. I found this out when someone brought her bike into the shop to get air put in the tires. She wondered if it counted as Bike to Work if she drove her daughter to daycare and then biked from there. I replied “I think it should count if I toss my bike in the back of the car and drive in”. None of the bikers thought it was funny, while all of the non bikers did. I chalk the difference up to low blood sugar from working like a draught animal way too early in the mornings. Let me put it this way; for me to get to work something's gonna die. It will either be me coughing up a lung or some dinosaurs, and they’re already dead. 

I did notice that by Friday the lot was full again. The office was running more efficiently and the office no longer smelled like a Minnesota Vikings locker room. Apparently after three or four days most people had come to their senses. I think the organizers of Bike to Work Week had a suspicion this was going to happen though. On Tuesday they handed out the shirts and took the group picture of all the people taking part in Bike to Work Week. 

Despite all the spandex clad silliness, we did get some work done this week. We have designed a new crawler track and it had to go through a full cycle of testing. How much does it weigh? How strong is it? How does it handle high temperatures? All sorts of things. In the Engineering lab we weigh big things with a Rapala fishing scale. It reads down to 0.1 pound or kg and for rough weights up to around 50 pounds it’s fine. The only control is one big black power button on the front just under the screen for the numbers. So we were working with it and it was reading in pounds. One of the Engineers said “I think the instructions for switching to kg are on the back.” I turned the scale over, and I kid you not, this is exactly what it said:

1. Hold down ON BUTTON until numbers appear.
2. Add fish.

That’s it. Not another word, unless you count the obvious battery cover on the back labelled BATTERY just in case there was any confusion. I guess robotics engineers weren’t the target audience for this little precision instrument. The best part though was the engineers didn’t see anything funny about it.But then they’re a tough crowd.

On a Vancouver radio station they were having a listener quiz about Memorial Day. Some teen aged stoner was answering questions about the US and doing rather poorly. The best though was the last question; “Which is the only state named after a US President?” Remember he was in Vancouver, literally 20 km from the border with Washington. The kid thought about it for a bit and then guessed, “Idaho?”

Ah yes, President Idaho. Not one of the well known presidents but still more productive than Pierce. 

And finally

Good Idea. Wearing steel toed shoes at work.
Good Idea. When you drop a small item catching it with the steel toe so it doesn't break on the floor.
Bad Idea. Doing the same thing with a one pound glass jar of peanut butter...when you're at home...with bare feet.

Ouch, maybe I shouldn’t be so smug.

Doug & Marsha.
PIX: A Yard Full of Flowers.