20 January 2013
As Free as a Part
20/01/13 08:40
This week I had a ‘discussion’ with the head of accounting. She wanted to know what had happened to a particular computer. I told her the case with that number was on my desk but the guts had been changed. She didn’t understand. I explained that the processor had been pulled to repair a critical system. Then the case sat in the back room for a couple of months during which parts, drives memory, power supply etc. wandered off to be used in other systems. Then last fall, I was placing an order for a bunch of parts and I added what I needed to bring the computer back online and now it was the system at my desk.
She was not happy.
It appears that there is a basic difference of opinion between myself and Accounting. She sees computers as single things. Monolithic items. She has computers listed as Capitol Assets, and has a spreadsheet with one line for each item.
1. Computer #1050 $XXXX
2. Drill Press #2678 $XXXX
3. Van, GMC #2371 $XXXX
4. Desk, Oak #2318 $XXXX
and so on.
On the other hand, I view computers (and other things like cars and machines) as collections of parts temporarily travelling through the vastness of the universe in parallel. Parts can go on together as they came from the factory but parts are the ultimate in free agents. There is nothing to keep some parts from cutting loose, going off on their own to explore the world. Parts are free to quit their home system and join another at any time. Sometimes parts do this because they get drafted into a new role. Other times parts will decide to take off purely out of a spirit of adventure or a desire to do something different. Left socks do this in the dryer fairly commonly as do children’s gloves. Driving along the highway you will see single shoes. Nobody throws single shoes out the window. No, they make the leap on their own in the hope of finding something better. As a kid growing up around the airport I knew of lots of car engines that had changed careers and were powering airplanes. When I was a kid, airplane parts would end up at our house. They wanted a quieter domestic life and ended up as toys or holding up bookcase shelves. Parts get bored too you know. Today of our favourite stores is the Habitat for Humanity Re-Use It store. There we can find homeless sinks, countertops, ceiling fans, shelving and such. All they need is a chance and they’ll return our generosity with years more of loyal service. I think of it as the SPCA for parts. In the case of a part for a computer, why should it continue to be a stick of memory doing accounting when it might dream of something more interesting? It could be in a system collecting data on the edge of a volcano, or in an airplane flying through a hurricane. Why be a bored processor working at 1% capacity fetching someone’s email when it could be decoding a video stream or playing a cool 3D game.
Anyway, at the behest of accounting I’m now responsible for keeping track of these wandering parts. I have to know if something has decided to go Marco Polo on me and replace it. In the eyes of Accounting, if we make a substantial change to a system it becomes a new computer with a new ID. This bothers me. Imagine if someone got a heart or liver transplant and the authorities made them change their name. It’s just wrong and I think it might lead to these systems having emotional problems. An identity crisis.
However I have an out. If the changed part is not “substantial” that is if it costs less than a couple hundred dollars then it is only “maintenance” and the system does not need a new number. As long as I keep the changes at any one time below this threshhold I don’t have to pretend it’s a new computer. I can replace everything in the case as long as I keep the cost low and replace the parts one piece at a time. Mind you, coming from a family of mechanics I do bristle at the implied slight on “maintenance”. Maintenance is what literally holds civilization together. The whole advancement of humanity has been on the back of those of us that can fix things. From the first Australopithecus that kept resharpening stone tools for everyone else, to the person that checked the spark plugs on the Spirit of Saint Louis, maintenance is what has kept the world going. Edison invented the light bulb but it would never have caught on without SOMEBODY to change them when they burnt out.
What I find most surprising is how much Accounting is unwilling to accept my point of view. They actually looked at me like I was crazy. Isn’t that weird?
In unrelated news, I called in sick Wednesday. Nothing particular, I just felt lousy which made it difficult. It’s easy to call in sick when you have name for what’s wrong. “I’m not going to be in today because I...have the flu, have appendicitis, I just broke my fourth metacarpal, my brain hurts, or whatever. It’s much harder for me to call in when the reason is “I feel crummy”. Nondescript, undefinable problems don’t have a name and so it’s more difficult to use them as an excuse. I even tried to introduce a name for it. Sub-acute Non-specific Viral Infection or SNVI but it never caught on. I’ve also been tempted to call in and just sing a chorus of “I Feel Crummy” from West Side Story:
I feel crummy
Oh so crummy
I feel icky and sicky and bad
But it bothers me
‘Cause leaving you one short makes me sad
But I haven’t had the guts to do that either. Oh I wish I were as free as a part.
Doug & Marsha
PIX: Interesting driftwood, concrete amoeba, elusive seals, and Geiger goes jungle exploring
She was not happy.
It appears that there is a basic difference of opinion between myself and Accounting. She sees computers as single things. Monolithic items. She has computers listed as Capitol Assets, and has a spreadsheet with one line for each item.
1. Computer #1050 $XXXX
2. Drill Press #2678 $XXXX
3. Van, GMC #2371 $XXXX
4. Desk, Oak #2318 $XXXX
and so on.
On the other hand, I view computers (and other things like cars and machines) as collections of parts temporarily travelling through the vastness of the universe in parallel. Parts can go on together as they came from the factory but parts are the ultimate in free agents. There is nothing to keep some parts from cutting loose, going off on their own to explore the world. Parts are free to quit their home system and join another at any time. Sometimes parts do this because they get drafted into a new role. Other times parts will decide to take off purely out of a spirit of adventure or a desire to do something different. Left socks do this in the dryer fairly commonly as do children’s gloves. Driving along the highway you will see single shoes. Nobody throws single shoes out the window. No, they make the leap on their own in the hope of finding something better. As a kid growing up around the airport I knew of lots of car engines that had changed careers and were powering airplanes. When I was a kid, airplane parts would end up at our house. They wanted a quieter domestic life and ended up as toys or holding up bookcase shelves. Parts get bored too you know. Today of our favourite stores is the Habitat for Humanity Re-Use It store. There we can find homeless sinks, countertops, ceiling fans, shelving and such. All they need is a chance and they’ll return our generosity with years more of loyal service. I think of it as the SPCA for parts. In the case of a part for a computer, why should it continue to be a stick of memory doing accounting when it might dream of something more interesting? It could be in a system collecting data on the edge of a volcano, or in an airplane flying through a hurricane. Why be a bored processor working at 1% capacity fetching someone’s email when it could be decoding a video stream or playing a cool 3D game.
Anyway, at the behest of accounting I’m now responsible for keeping track of these wandering parts. I have to know if something has decided to go Marco Polo on me and replace it. In the eyes of Accounting, if we make a substantial change to a system it becomes a new computer with a new ID. This bothers me. Imagine if someone got a heart or liver transplant and the authorities made them change their name. It’s just wrong and I think it might lead to these systems having emotional problems. An identity crisis.
However I have an out. If the changed part is not “substantial” that is if it costs less than a couple hundred dollars then it is only “maintenance” and the system does not need a new number. As long as I keep the changes at any one time below this threshhold I don’t have to pretend it’s a new computer. I can replace everything in the case as long as I keep the cost low and replace the parts one piece at a time. Mind you, coming from a family of mechanics I do bristle at the implied slight on “maintenance”. Maintenance is what literally holds civilization together. The whole advancement of humanity has been on the back of those of us that can fix things. From the first Australopithecus that kept resharpening stone tools for everyone else, to the person that checked the spark plugs on the Spirit of Saint Louis, maintenance is what has kept the world going. Edison invented the light bulb but it would never have caught on without SOMEBODY to change them when they burnt out.
What I find most surprising is how much Accounting is unwilling to accept my point of view. They actually looked at me like I was crazy. Isn’t that weird?
In unrelated news, I called in sick Wednesday. Nothing particular, I just felt lousy which made it difficult. It’s easy to call in sick when you have name for what’s wrong. “I’m not going to be in today because I...have the flu, have appendicitis, I just broke my fourth metacarpal, my brain hurts, or whatever. It’s much harder for me to call in when the reason is “I feel crummy”. Nondescript, undefinable problems don’t have a name and so it’s more difficult to use them as an excuse. I even tried to introduce a name for it. Sub-acute Non-specific Viral Infection or SNVI but it never caught on. I’ve also been tempted to call in and just sing a chorus of “I Feel Crummy” from West Side Story:
I feel crummy
Oh so crummy
I feel icky and sicky and bad
But it bothers me
‘Cause leaving you one short makes me sad
But I haven’t had the guts to do that either. Oh I wish I were as free as a part.
Doug & Marsha
PIX: Interesting driftwood, concrete amoeba, elusive seals, and Geiger goes jungle exploring