Today is April 1. April Fools Day to some. I was thinking of the great gags I’ve played on people over the years. The time I replaced the quiet “plink” someone’s computer made when they made a typo with a loud Roadrunner noise for example. More often though I was the person behind the scenes. The idea guy that would suggest things to others. I’d sit back and enjoy the scene as they’d do the gag, cause the mess, and get in trouble. It was how I got through high school with a ‘good guy’ reputation.

Computers are good for gags. The programmers include hidden features that let you do nasty things. Windows 95 and 98 included the ability to display the screen upside down. I mean really, why would they do that? What practical use would there be for this? No, it was only put in to be used by geeks like me to play tricks. But you know somehow I don’t play practical jokes any more. The reason is simple, I’m the one who gets called to fix the system afterwords and I have enough to do as it is.

So in other news, I was struck this week by how different the US and Canada are. The reason for this was that the federal government released its budget proposal for the next year. The major goal this time is to return to being in balance by 2015. Canada normally runs a balanced budget but things like the collapse of 2008 threw them out for a couple of years. This is, I understand, an amazing idea for those of you south of the border, but that’s how they run this country.

One cost cutting plan that was proposed is to eliminate the penny. They cost a lot to make and outside of people that hoard large jars of the things nobody seems to want them any more. This is an idea that I’ve thought the US should do for twenty-five years. Another idea I had was be to dump the paper dollar and replace it with a coin that would last far longer and so cost far less.

Oh that’s right Canada did that twenty-five years ago too.

Here’s another idea from this years federal budget. Like Social Security, the Canada Pension Plan is running into the demographics trap. There aren’t enough young workers to support old retirees. In the US the suggestions to solve this problem run from privatizing the whole thing, to converting it to an investment plan (so when the market goes down like in 2008 everyone loses their shirt) to dumping grandma onto charity. Up here they just announced the retirement age is going up by two years. Done. Everyone retires at 67 rather than 65 and problem solved. There is a good amount of common sense in the political class up here that seems to be lacking in the US. This is especially true when you realize that the current government is being run by The Conservative Party. Conservatives up here would be moderate Democrats south of the border.

The most important proposal in the budget for us though is that they are raising the limits for cross border shopping. Starting in June we will be able to bring in $800 each per trip duty free. Not sure how this will help Canadian businesses but we like it. This summer we’re going to rent a big truck and buy every box of Grape-Nuts in the Seattle area.

So in other news, one of the biggest complaints I hear (aside from “how dare they take my penny away”) is that to run modern software you need to replace your computer before its really worn out. You’ll have a perfectly good system but this application demands something bigger, faster, or that doesn’t have a keyboard filled with jelly. It would be like if you had to upgrade your car every couple of years because it was incompatible with the current roads.This leads to piles of old computer equipment in garage sales or in landfills or on barges to Asia where they get smelted down for their metals. All in all a very wasteful process. Today I saw that Google is starting to address this issue. They are rolling out Google Applications for older platforms. First is Google Maps for NES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rznYifPHxDg

Oh and, if any of you are planning on flying soon you might try WestJet. They have come up with a way to make the whole experience much more pleasant. If their idea works for children, I’m hoping they do it for other obnoxious people.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4SkoJy3D0M&feature=player_embedded
Basically I want the plane all to myself and everyone else packed with the luggage. Or is that too “Titanic” for everyone.

But before any of you fly out to visit, via WestJet or otherwise, there’s something you should keep in mind. I have to admit that I do set up the occasional gag but they are few and far between. Because they are so small in number, I don’t waste them on little things. I go for huge involved jokes that take time to develop. Around five years ago I started a joke and it’s been a lot of fun.However, it’s time to come clean.

We don’t really live in BC.

SURPRISE. You see, we made up the whole thing. The move across country, the weekly letters, the pictures, the ocean, all of it was faked. We’ve been living in a little house in Saulk Centre MN for the last five years. Marsha is the midnight clerk at Casey’s and I’m a diesel mechanic. “But” I hear you asking, “what about the friends and family that stayed with you?” That was tricky. We had to fly out to the Island two days before each visit, rent the house, and work really hard so we’d look ‘settled’. Then after they left we’d clean up, put the furniture back in storage, and fly home.

It was a very involved gag.

More about that later though. I gotta go for now. We’ve got to hit Superstore before the Sunday rush. This will be a big trip this week. You see I just found out that in addition to being vegetarian, I’m lactose intolerant. So it’ll be a basket of fake meat, fake cheese, and some fake milk to wash it down with.

Mmmm, Mmmm Now there’s some good eats..

Doug & Marsha

PIX. Momiji hiding and the biggest AprilFools joke of all, Snow.