Men and Women are different. OK you probably did notice that a long time ago, likely around age 13. This difference though, is more than just, shall we say, the accessories. Apparently Winston Churchill once said "Americans and British are one people separated only by a common language" (though he may have been quoting Wilde or Shaw). Over the years I've discovered that the same is true of Men and Women. Officially we speak the same language but in many ways we really don't. Men and women have a different language, the words may be the same but the definitions can be different. Something said by a man may have the opposite meaning when said by a woman. More importantly, each of us process what we hear through our own set of filters. This is the source of a good deal of the conflict in relationships. Even seemingly simple innocuous phrases can get us in trouble. 

For example. Two guys sharing an apartment. Oscar is watching TV. Felix walks by and says "I'm going to take a shower". Oscar replies "Cool". Felix hears "OK, I don't care". 

Now a couple in the same situation. Tim is watching TV. Jill walks by and says "I'm going to take a shower". Tim replies "Cool". Jill hears "Oh my god, thank you, thank you, it's bloody well about time, the cat's eyes were beginning to water". Jill gets mad and Tim has no clue why. This is the first thing to remember in a relationship: When she gets mad at him, and she will, most of the time he won't have any idea why. Us guys go through life in various states of clueless panic. 

Next take the phrase "Are You OK?" To a woman Are you OK? means I'm there for you. I'll offer to help even if I can't actually do anything. I'm here to reassure and support you. For example. Mary gets dumped at the alter, via text message, while he's on a date with his new girlfriend. What is Jill going to say to her? "Mary are you OK?" Of course Mary isn't OK but it's Jill's way of offering moral and spiritual support. 

Now, take the two guys, Oscar is sitting on the couch, still watching TV. 
Felix staggers into the room, seriously drunk, and plops down.
Felix "Dude I am so hooking up with that girl over there." 
Oscar  "The one in the red dress?"
Felix "Yeah, we were dancing and I was all over her."
Oscar "You mean your Mother-In-Law?"
Felix "Yeah"
Oscar "At your wedding reception?"
Felix "Yeah"
Oscar "Dude, are you OK?"

As you can see, men use the phrase "Are You OK?" to mean "You Are a Complete and Total Idiot." This is why men don't say Are You OK? to women as often as women say it to men. Believe me, most of the time we know which one of us is the idiot. 

This, in conclusion, is why when I drop a plastic fork on the kitchen floor and Marsha pipes up with "Honey, are you OK?" that my blood pressure spikes so badly. 

But not to worry - we are still happily married and had a great 23rd wedding anniversary and looking forward to 24.

We just returned from Barbara's and a trip to the beach.  After the trilobite pictures are some from our most recent outing.  The weather here has been great as the rain has finally stopped or it is only raining during late evening or overnight.  

D&M

PIX: The really great fossil we got in Victoria



Trilobite fossil



Trilobite and an unknown person





Flowers along the beach


Looking over toward the mainland



We thought this particular rock formation reminded us of a duck or a swan.